Overcomer

Today is Day 1 of feeling completely normal. Haven't had one episode of vertigo...yet. :)

Yesterday was pretty awesome as well. Although I woke up with some light headedness, it quickly went away and I proceeded to get myself out to the trail and run/walk 3.1 miles. It was a virtual 5k race in honor of 9/11. I've never done a virtual race before but it was just what I needed to push myself. My tush hurt and my legs wanted to give out, but I finished it....and got my first leg cramp afterward. Now that I seem to be getting back to normal, I really need to start eating healthy again. I can't believe I haven't gained any weight these last 2 months considering all the crap I've consumed.

When you're so used to being active, it's hard to spend so much time sidelined and unfortunately it's also hard to get back on track. My pace yesterday stunk and I felt like a slug. But I kept going. I don't expect to do anything spectacular this weekend at the Gladiator Run, but I still plan on kicking some booty. I'm also hoping to be back to MMA and Insanity after that.


These last couple of months really tried my patience and my sanity. I got a huge lesson in what it's like dealing with doctors and medical insurance, I learned that I am capable of getting jealous when I hear about other people's workouts, I fought through moments of loneliness, frustration, anxiety and depression and more than once I questioned whether I'm really as tough as I think I am. And I realized that yes, I am that tough. Even though I had meltdowns, I didn't stay there. I picked myself up, got into the Word and prayed even if I didn't feel like it. I cried at God, I screamed at God, and I questioned God. I'm so thankful that He can take all of that and then some. I had no idea vertigo could be so scary and long lasting.

Having vertigo has definitely made me more sympathetic to people who have illnesses that you can't see on the outside. It's so frustrating to hear people say "but you look fine" when you know you're not. You can tell that some people just don't get it or aren't taking your feelings that seriously because on the outside you look just fine...but you know you're not. That's the biggest frustration. It is hard enough not knowing what's going on with you medically, but it adds to the frustration when family and friends don't really support you but instead, just pat you on the back and tell you that you look fine. Thank God for those friends of mine who understood I was having a hard time and took a moment to give me a hug or ask me how I was doing. I am learning to focus more on the good that people do or say and try not to dwell so much on the negative. Unfortunately, some people just don't understand what someone else is going through until they walk in their shoes.

But with that said, I wouldn't wish vertigo on anybody, not even my worst enemy.