Get Back Up

In Toby Mac's song "Get Back Up" he says:

We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever

That's how I feel today, because I finally did it. After almost 3 months, I made it back to MMA last night. I had a slight panic attack in the car as I sat outside the gym. I wasn't sure how much I'd be able to do. I wasn't sure if one wrong move would cause me to get dizzy or light headed. When you deal with vertigo for as long as I have, even when you begin feeling better, there is this fear that comes over you. Although I have now been 2 weeks vertigo free, I've stayed away from the gym and any intense workouts for fear that something might cause me to have a vertigo attack. It's as if those 2-3 months sucked out my confidence and replaced it with fear. Well, I am proud to say that I destroyed that psychological block last night!

My instructors told me to ease into it and do what I can. They told me they understood if I needed to sit out or wanted to modify things. We began with some squats, 50 jumping jacks, and push ups. I was feeling unsure at first, but once I got through some of the cardio and realized that I was feeling pretty awesome, my confidence began coming back. We moved into some of our combos (various punches/kicks) and I gave it all I had. I really couldn't believe how great I was feeling.

When it came to sparring, my instructor told me he would follow my lead and my pace. We would go as slow and as easy as I needed/wanted to. Well, I killed it. I'm not sure where the energy or stamina came from, but my instructor told me it was as if I had never left. We did about a half hour of sparring and I felt like I could keep going.

At the end of class we did some more cardio: planks, push ups, burpees, sit ups, etc. I struggled a little with the planks and the burpees, but that was nothing new! LOL. Class is an hour and a half and by the end of it, I felt like I could do it all over again.

I definitely gained back my confidence last night. I'm no longer worried that fast movements or bending over is going to make me dizzy. I can now say that I am 100% free from vertigo. I've been told that 90 percent of people who get vertigo, get it again...but I can't worry about that. I'm ready to get back in the game. I'm really looking forward to getting back to the gym this week and maybe some Insanity and PiYo. Yesterday was exactly what I needed to knock down those walls I had built up and find myself again.