Back to the beginning

Like a lot of the female population, I’ve struggled with issues of insecurity ever since I can remember, and I’ve always obsessed about my weight. In my teens I was obsessed with working out and even tried laxatives and SlimFast to lose weight. Funny thing is, I wasn’t fat. Nowhere near it. In fact, I look back at my old high school pictures and I wish I was that weight now. I was actually pretty slim throughout most of my life, until I went away to college.


Weight has always been an issue in my family. Both of my parents were overweight and after going to college I began following in their footsteps. I stopped being active, I developed horrible eating habits, and before I knew it, I was over 200 pounds. Both of my parents died of heart attacks, I’ve lost a few aunts and uncles to cancer, and arthritis, high blood pressure, depression, and diabetes all run in my family. I stepped on the scale one day and saw “205” staring back at me. I felt sick, scared, and disgusted with myself. I didn’t like how I looked or felt. I huffed and puffed just walking up one flight of stairs at work. Something needed to change.

The first thing I did was join a cardio kickboxing class at a local martial arts studio. I was nervous at first. I had tried an aerobics class a few times and hated it. I just didn’t feel comfortable being in an exercise class, so I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. I grew up on martial arts movies and TV shows: Kung Fu, Kickboxer, Karate Kid. I loved them all. So when I drove by the studio one day and saw their billboard advertising kickboxing classes, it only made sense to try it out.

It wound up being a great class with a great instructor who really pushed everyone and made the class fun. I was in the class for 2 years and did lose a few pounds, but the class was expensive. Anyone who has taken any sort of martial arts class understands what I’m talking about. Martial arts is not a cheap hobby! So, I made the decision to take a step back from the class.

I’m one of those who believes that God works in mysterious ways. Right after I decided to take a break from the class due to the cost, my church began offering MMA classes. Yes…Mixed Martial Arts…in church. It was through a group called Impact CMA (Christian Martial Arts) and it was only $25 a month. Can’t beat that! I walked in that first day and thought, “what the heck am I thinking?” I almost turned around in the parking lot and went home. I really questioned whether I should be attempting something like this. Turns out I was the only girl in the class too. I was told that girls get treated just like the guys and I was introduced to the yak bush (just in case you need to puke during class!)…and somehow, all of that was strangely attractive to me. :)

I didn’t think I’d get through the first 5 minutes because it was an intense cardio workout! I thought kickboxing had prepared me for this, but I was wrong. In that very first class I learned to put two of the instructors in choke holds and I knew I wanted to come back. :) A year and a half later and I’m still with the group and don’t plan on going anywhere! :)

During this time I also discovered 5Ks and adventure runs. I did my first mud obstacle course before I ever did my first 5k. I didn’t train at all and had no idea what I was getting myself into (that seems to be a running theme in my life). I wound up meeting a group through meetup.com that  was doing the same run and they invited me to join their team. 4 miles of obstacles and mud and I fell in love. A month later I did my first 5K, Color Me Radd, with my cousin and some of her friends. That was over a year and a half ago and since then I have done multiple mud runs and 5ks….and I’ve lost at least 50 pounds.

I have discovered that one of the keys to losing weight is to find activities that you enjoy and to surround yourself with those who will challenge you, motivate you, and encourage you. I used to be so full of insecurities that I was afraid to try anything new for fear of making a fool out of myself and failing. Now, even if I “fail” I want to try again. I love going back to the same adventure runs and being able to do the obstacles I had to skip before. And I could care less about making a fool out of myself because I’m doing a lot more than those who are sitting home on the couch. Come watch me in MMA sometime. I have no balance, I’m clumsy, and my technique is nothing to write home about, but I still have one heck of a good time, and my confidence is in a much better place now than it was before I started. And when it comes to self defense, I may be no Bruce Lee, but I have some techniques and skills that I didn’t have before and that makes me feel a little bit better when I am out on a run by myself at one of our local trails.

It amazes me how much my life has changed in such a short time. I even enjoy going to the gym and lifting weights. If you had told me just 2 years ago that I would be doing all this crazy stuff, I would have told you to have your head examined. I still struggle with a lot of self esteem and insecurity issues but Rome wasn’t built in a day. I didn’t gain weight overnight. My self esteem didn’t just decide to plummet one day. I was bullied throughout my childhood and teen years. I still have “issues” that I’m dealing with. But at least I’m now dealing with those issues and battling them head on…and knocking them down one at a time.

God has placed some amazing friends in my life: friends who motivate me to take care of myself physically and spiritually. Some of them join me in my craziness and others cheer me on from the sidelines. We weren’t meant to walk through life alone. Surrounding yourself with positive people who will lift you up, not tear you down, is an important first step in getting your life back on track. Losing weight and getting in shape isn’t easy, but finding activities that get you off the couch and finding people who will cheer you on are the two best things you can do for yourself.